


Bare Your Soul

by Polomonkey



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Accidental Bonding, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friends With Benefits, Humor, M/M, Magic Revealed, Misunderstandings, Soul Bond, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-06
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-19 09:27:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29872569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Polomonkey/pseuds/Polomonkey
Summary: An accidental soulbonding leads Merlin and Arthur into counselling to get it dissolved.If, of course, that's what they really want...
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Comments: 33
Kudos: 336
Collections: Hurt/Comfort Bingo - Round 11, Merlin Bingo





	Bare Your Soul

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LFB72](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LFB72/gifts).



> For the gorgeous LFB, as a belated birthday gift. I adore you and everything you do for the fandom, dear! <3
> 
> Also fills my hurt/comfort bingo Feb challenge and my Merlin Bingo square 'Merlin's magic loves Arthur'. Massive thanks to Clea for the plot idea and also for basically holding my hand and explaining what soulbonding is...

**Session One**

“Why don’t you explain how this all started?” Dr Kilgharrah said smoothly, pen poised over his notepad.

He didn’t look much like a counsellor to Merlin, what with his untamed eyebrows and frankly out of control beard, which always seemed to have biscuit crumbs in it. But perhaps soulbond counsellors were built a little differently to the usual kind. How would Merlin know? He’d barely given the profession a second thought until he’d found himself in dire need of one.

Merlin looked over at Arthur, who was glaring mutinously at the floor.

What a prat. As if all the blame lay with Merlin! Arthur had definitely been a willing participant in all the excellent sex they had been having before… _the incident_.

“Mr Pendragon?” the doctor pressed, and Arthur heaved a sigh.

“Well, I suppose it all began with Merlin secretly having magic and completely losing his mind during se-”

“Excuse me!” Merlin interjected. “It did not start there! Technically, it started all the way back at Elyan’s last birthday party when you cornered me in the kitchen and stuck your tongue down my-”

“Merlin!” Arthur hissed.

“Shall we start with where you stuck your tongue, Mr Pendragon?” Dr Kilgharrah said, with what appeared to be a most unprofessional smirk.

“No, we will not,” Arthur spluttered. “I have no interest in discussing the details of my sex life in this room, thank you very much.”

“That may be difficult,” the doctor said, unruffled. “Considering the _unusual_ circumstances of your bond.”

“Look, if this is how you get your jollies-”

Merlin rolled his eyes.

“It’s hardly a letter to Penthouse, Arthur. We just need to give the basics.”

“Correct, Mr Emrys,” Kilgharrah said and Merlin felt a little smug. He was clearly the doctor’s favourite here, and from Arthur’s glare, he knew it too.

“Anyway,” Merlin said, deciding to take the plunge. “About eight months ago, at Elyan’s aforementioned birthday party, we… became intimate for the first time.”

Arthur blushed. He certainly hadn’t been so prudish that night, whispering an endless stream of filth into Merlin’s ears as he manoeuvred them from the kitchen to the spare bedroom.

What had followed was several uncomplicated months of incredible sex, whilst maintaining the fiction of being just friends to anyone who asked. Which wasn’t untrue. They were just friends. Friends who had sex occasionally. Or, you know, every chance they got.

It had all seemed so perfect at first. Merlin had known Arthur since they were living in the same uni halls, and ten years later they still got on like a house on fire. Sex almost seemed like the most logical progression of their relationship; there’d always been some boyfriend or girlfriend (or nonbinaryfriend) to get in the way before, but for the first time in years they were both single and so what was the harm?

It wasn’t anything serious. Just a bit of fun until one or other of them found a new flame.

Six months in, the inevitable happened. Merlin caught feelings. He’d always found Arthur funny and smart and good company – it was the basis for their friendship all these years. And he’d never been unaware of how attractive Arthur was either. But the sex had unlocked something different. Something much deeper and stronger than he’d felt before. Something…

Something that felt a bit like love.

He couldn’t tell Arthur, of course. It was just casual sex for him, like they’d agreed. There was no indication Arthur saw him as anything other than a close friend with benefits.

But he needed to talk to someone. So he’d broken their solemn pact not to tell any of their interfering friends and scuttled over to Gwen’s for advice. She was the best friend Merlin could think of for not only deep conversation, but also for tea and biscuits and perhaps some of those salted caramel brownies she was so good at baking…

What he got instead was a most unladylike snort in his face.

“Oh, I’m sorry Merlin,” Gwen said, covering her mouth. “I didn’t mean to laugh. It’s just that, well, it’s you and Arthur.”

“What does that mean?” Merlin said, slightly grumpy because he was being laughed at and there weren’t even any brownies on offer.

“We’ve all always thought that, you know…”

“What?”

“That you’d end up together,” Gwen said, shrugging. “You’ve just always seemed a bit made for each other.”

“How?” Merlin said, and then processed the rest of what she’d said. “And what do you mean ‘you all thought’?”

“Oh, just myself and Morgana. And Elyan. And Leon and Mith. And Lance. Oh and Gwaine and Percy and Elena.”

“Unbelievable! Anyone else?”

Gwen cocked her head.

“Remember that guy Cedric we met that one night out in Belushis’ two years ago?”

“Er, vaguely?”

“Bumped into him last week and he asked if you two were together yet.”

“Oh my God!”

Merlin frowned down at his brownie-less hands.

“So everyone knows but me.”

“Clearly Arthur doesn’t know!” Gwen said cheerily. “Or maybe he does, now that you’re finally sleeping together.”

“Trust me, he doesn’t,” Merlin said, trying not to sound glum.

Gwen patted his hand.

“So why don’t you fill him in?”

It was Merlin’s turn to snort and Gwen immediately turned bright pink.

“I didn’t mean it like that!”

“Gutter mouth.”

“Merlin!”

“Ah, I know what you meant. But it’s a bit scary.”

“Love is scary,” Gwen said earnestly. “But it’s so worth it.”

“You know I can’t take you seriously after you said ‘fill him in’, right?”

“Oh, shut up,” Gwen said, getting up. “I’m making tea and then we’re making a plan.”

“With brownies?”

“Brownies are for brave people,” Gwen said meaningfully.

“Oh alright, I’ll talk to him.”

“Good man,” Gwen said, ruffling his hair.

In Gwen’s cosy kitchen, full of tea and salted caramel, it seemed almost achievable. But the next time Merlin saw Arthur, he completely chickened out. The stakes were too high. What if Arthur was horrified? What if they lost their friendship completely? Merlin would never recover. It was the same reason he’d never told Arthur about his magic. He just had too much to lose.

So he said nothing, like a coward. Hoping his feelings would subside, hoping it was all just a passing madness.

And then came… _the incident_.

“Merlin, are you even listening?”

Merlin jumped. He was aware that Arthur had been talking to Kilgharrah for quite some time while he’d been reminiscing about his unfortunate catching of feelings.

“What? Yeah. Course. Uh, what was that last bit?”

Arthur shook his head in exasperation.

“I brought us up to the night of the bonding. I thought you could take the reins from here, since it was entirely your fault.”

“My fault!” Merlin said, outraged all over again. “It takes two to tango, you-”

“Gentlemen,” Kilgharrah cut in. “I’m afraid we’re out of time for today. We’ll be sure to pick up where we left off next week.”

Merlin gaped.

“We can’t wait another week!”

“It is a mandatory six-session minimum to dissolve a soulbond,” Kilgharrah reminded him. “We don’t want people rushing into anything.”

Rushing into anything, yeah right. Merlin glared at Arthur. The sooner this soulbond was dissolved, the better.

**Session Two**

After a week spent dodging questions from his friends about why he and Arthur never seemed to be in the same room any more, Merlin was not in the mood for counselling. But he wanted the six sessions done, and the only way out was through.

Didn’t mean he had to act happy about it, though.

“I believe we reached the crux of the story last week,” Kilgharrah said by way of greeting, settling himself down opposite the couch that Merlin and Arthur were forced to share. “Shall we dive straight back in?”

God, this was mortifying. Merlin steeled himself to speak. It would be better coming from him than whatever twisted version Arthur could cook up.

“It was Arthur’s birthday,” he said, praying his voice didn’t wobble. “So we had a little gathering…”

Party was more the word for it, though Merlin suspected that was Gwaine’s fault, who seemed to have brought half the pub along with him. He pushed past the throng of people drunkenly singing along to the Spice Girls to find Arthur topping up his drink in the kitchen.

“Just the man,” Arthur said, looking round to check no one was watching before pressing a quick kiss to Merlin’s lips.

“Ah, I see you’re wanting a birthday kiss.”

“Actually, I’m wanting a birthday shag but-”

“Shh!”

They both snickered, Merlin taking advantage of the empty room to give Arthur’s arse a quick squeeze.

“Too many people around,” he said regretfully and Arthur winked.

“But I locked my bedroom off.”

“Then why are we still standing here?”

Arthur chased him up the stairs, and pounced on him the second the door closed behind them.

“Do you know how hot you look in those jeans?”

Merlin was wearing his tightest black pair, which had been making regularly scheduled appearances since Arthur had expressed his strong approval of them.

“Almost as hot as you are in that shirt.”

It was blue and silky and clung to Arthur’s muscles in just the right ways, and oh, Merlin needed it ripped off immediately.

He did just that, tugging it off while Arthur kissed his neck, nipping a little at his skin until Merlin felt hot all over.

He pulled them over to the bed and threw Arthur down on it, before climbing on top of him.

“Ready for your present?” he said, working his way down Arthur’s chest with little kisses.

“Hey,” Arthur said and Merlin paused, looking up at him.

“What?”

“I really… I’m really glad you’re here. With me.”

Merlin felt a heat in his chest that was nothing to do with his previous arousal.

“I’m glad too,” he said, trying his best not to sound choked up.

Arthur smiled at him and it was like the full force of sunshine on his face. He captured Merlin’s mouth in a kiss and it was as though no one else existed in the world.

And then their jeans were coming off and then everything was coming off and then it was all wonderful, exquisite, mind-blowing, sensational…

And then.

Merlin still wasn’t quite sure what happened.

But right at the moment of release, Merlin’s magic sort of… poured out. The room was suddenly bathed in a white light. The walls started to shake. The furniture shifted. The windows rattled.

And a curl of red smoke shot directly out of Merlin’s mouth and... into Arthur’s.

For a moment all Merlin felt was a deep and abiding sense of calm and peace. And then the spell broke.

“What the hell!”

It was a fair question, but Merlin didn’t actually know what the hell himself. He was painfully aware his magic had caused this, but what exactly had it caused?

“I don’t know,” he said, rolling off Arthur and along the bed, which had thankfully stopped moving. The room was back to normal. Perhaps he could persuade Arthur it was some kind of freak earthquake...

“And what was that red smoke?!”

Perhaps not.

“You saw that?” Merlin said nervously.

“Of course, I saw that! And... felt it.”

Merlin was suddenly alert. He sat up and looked at Arthur.

“What did you feel?” he said, a horrible suspicion dawning on him.

Arthur frowned.

“I’m not sure exactly. Kind of like a little burning in my throat. But then-”

“-a strange feeling of calm spreading out through your body?” Merlin finished.

“Yes! How did you know?”

Merlin cringed.

“It sounds like, uh, a soulbond.”

Arthur shot up in bed.

“A WHAT?”

“A soulbond is-”

“I know what a soulbond is, Merlin, and I also know at least one person involved has to have magic to invoke one!”

All these years and this was the way it had to come out. He had no other choice now.

“I have magic,” Merlin said, willing his voice not to shake.

He expected Arthur to shout again but instead he just sank back down on the pillows. His face had gone completely blank.

“You have magic. And you never told me.”

His voice was expressionless.

“I wanted to,” Merlin said desperately. “Please, I wanted to, so much. But I didn’t know… I mean, your dad and… I didn’t know if I could trust...”

It was the wrong thing to say. Arthur got out of the bed and began silently redressing.

“I didn’t mean that,” Merlin said. “I just meant-”

But he couldn’t find the right words, and suddenly Arthur was fully dressed and at the door.

“Don’t just go,” Merlin pleaded and Arthur turned back.

“I’ll call you tomorrow,” he said and Merlin dared to hope.

“To let you know once I’ve had the soulbond dissolved.”

Merlin’s heart shattered.

The call the next day had been brief and muted, with Arthur letting him know in clipped tones that they’d have to undergo mandatory therapy before the soulbond could be officially dissolved. And they had barely spoken since.

Except here, in this poky clinic room, where all they did was bicker whilst never looking each other in the eye.

“And so we found out we’d have to come here and now you’re all up to date,” Merlin finished. He’d given Kilgharrah the edited version of course. He wouldn’t make the mistake of revealing how much Arthur had meant to him before that fateful night. Especially since he knew Arthur's feelings on magic now.

Kilgharrah scratched out a few notes on his pad and then capped his pen.

“So you were both in agreement that you wanted the bond dissolved?”

Merlin nodded. He could feel Arthur doing the same beside him.

“How much did you know of soulbonds before this happened?”

“Quite a bit,” Merlin admitted. “But I never thought it would happen to me.”

“Even though you have magic?” Kilgharrah said, quirking a bushy eyebrow.

“Yes,” Merlin snapped. “Because they’re only meant to happen when two people form a deep and profound mutual connection and that’s clearly not the case here, is it?”

“Apparently accidents happen,” Arthur said acidly and Merlin held back a sharp retort.

Kilgharrah nodded slowly.

“Accidents do happen, on occasion. That’s why this service exists, for those times when a mistaken bond has been made.”

“So if you want to give us the thumbs up now, we can get this taken care of,” Merlin said hopefully but Kilgharrah only smiled an irritating smile.

“Six-session minimum, Mr Emrys. I think we’ll leave it there for today.”

“We’ve only had twenty minutes,” Arthur said but Kilgharrah was already standing.

“Much to reflect on,” he said cryptically, and then he was gone.

They were left sitting there. Merlin almost thought he heard a cough from beside him, the way Arthur often used to start a conversation. But perhaps he imagined it, because seconds later Arthur stood and left the room.

**Session Three**

Merlin was a little early for the next appointment so he hung around outside, trying to look inconspicuous. Fat chance of that, since the clinic had a huge sign in the window proclaiming ‘Holistic Soulbond Therapy for accidental, mistaken and unexpected bonds. Your bond is our business’.

It made the clinic sound like some kind of tacky fortune tellers, rather than a government mandated counselling service. And yes, Merlin knew it was technically a good thing that soulbonds couldn’t be dissolved on a whim, considering that the same bond would never be able to be forged again. But in this particular scenario, he wanted out and he wanted out fast. The sooner he and Arthur were severed, the better.

He wasn’t spending the rest of his life bonded to a complete bigot.

Merlin didn’t want to think of how Arthur felt about his magic, because it made him want to cry. He squeezed his nails into the palms of his hands and checked the clock-tower again. Two minutes to go.

Then a newly familiar shiver went down his spine.

He didn’t have to turn around to know that Arthur was close by. Merlin quickly stepped into the clinic, so they wouldn’t have the awkwardness of walking in together.

By the time Arthur got inside, Merlin was already sat in Kilgharrah’s room, making small talk. He didn’t look up when Arthur sat down beside him, though he felt acutely aware of his presence. How could he not, after all they’d been through?

Well, it wasn’t just that. The bond meant that he sensed Arthur in a much more literal way. Like annoying shivers whenever he approached, and this strange kind of warmth when they were together.

Purely on the level of sensation. Merlin’s mind currently felt no warmth for Arthur whatsoever.

“Now, then,” Kilgharrah said.

Merlin wondered what this session would be about. They’d already explained how they got in this mess, what more did the doctor need?

“Tell me about your magic, Mr Emrys.”

That was not what Merlin expected to hear.

“My magic?”

“Yes.”

“Well, uh… why?”

Kilgharrah favoured him with a small smile.

“I believe it is relevant to events? Your intake notes mentioned there was perhaps some confusion around the subject-”

“There was no confusion,” Arthur cut in, sounding bitter. “More like Merlin deliberately never told me he had magic.”

“That’s not fair,” Merlin said hotly. “It’s still a taboo, I can’t go round shouting it from the rooftops.”

He shot a small angry look at Arthur.

“Besides, look how you reacted when you found out.”

“Can you blame me?” Arthur said and Merlin turned away, not wanting to show how much that hurt.

He’d wanted to tell Arthur for so long. He’d only held back for fear, knowing how much Arthur’s father hated magic. It wasn’t a subject they’d discussed much, but he was petrified Arthur would share Uther’s views, and where would that leave them?

And then Arthur had discovered the truth and reacted exactly how Merlin had feared he would. He was clearly a chip off the old block after all.

If Merlin had known… he never would have fallen in love with Arthur. And now the damage was done.

“So it came as a surprise to you, Mr Pendragon?”

“I’ll say.”

“And how did that make you feel?”

“Angry.”

“That was your initial reaction?”

“I was in shock at first,” Arthur said. “About the soulbond. And then I realised what it meant, that Merlin must have-”

“One second,” Kilgharrah interrupted. “You weren’t angry before the revelation that Merlin had magic?”

“Well, no, I was more shocked, like I said.”

“But not angry."

“Er, no.”

“So the idea of the soulbond didn’t produce a negative reaction in you,” Kilgharrah commenting. “It was only the magic that changed your feelings.”

“I’m not sure what you’re getting at,” Arthur said flatly.

“Well, as Mr Emrys said in our first session, it takes two to tango. Or perhaps in this case, two to soulbond.”

“Hey!” Arthur protested. “I didn’t have a choice in this! His magic just… did that.”

“No need to sound so disgusted when you mention my magic,” Merlin sniped.

“As Mr Emrys also said,” Kilgharrah ploughed on, “it’s only meant to happen when two people form a deep and profound mutual connection.”

“And as _I_ said in response to that,” Arthur bit out, “accidents happen.”

“Indeed. But they are rare. I would ask you to consider – both of you – whether that is the case here.”

“Of course it is!” Arthur practically exploded and for once Merlin was in agreement. “There’s no other option.”

Kilgharrah scribbled something on his pad.

“Very well. Just something to think about. Now, let’s talk about your childhoods…”

After forty long and entirely unproductive minutes of probing into their family backgrounds, they were finally released. Merlin’s phone rang as they stepped into the lobby, giving him the perfect excuse to avoid speaking to Arthur.

“Hi Gwen.”

“Merlin! We’re having brunch at Rio’s, come over!”

Brunch did sound rather fun. Next to him, Merlin noticed Arthur had just picked up his own phone.

“Come on, I haven’t seen you for ages! Gwaine and Mith and Leon are all here already. And Leon’s phoning Arthur to come.”

Damn.

“Maybe,” Merlin said. “I have to just... I’ll call you back!”

He hung up on Gwen’s squawk of protest and turned back to Arthur, making a ‘hang up the phone’ gesture at him.

“I’ll text you in a minute, Leon, gotta go,” Arthur said, and hung up. “What do you want?”

The coiffured receptionist frowned at Arthur’s tone and Merlin quickly pushed the door open and stepped outside.

Arthur followed, face unreadable.

“You got invited to brunch at Rio’s,” Merlin said when they were on the street.

Arthur sighed.

“You did too.”

“Well, we can’t both go,” Merlin said.

Arthur pursed his lips.

“I think I should get to go. I haven’t seen our friends in two weeks and Morgana won’t stop hassling me about it.”

“What about me?” Merlin said indignantly. “I haven’t seen anyone either and Gwen’s my best friend, she’s getting suspicious.”

“Fine, we’ll toss for it,” Arthur said.

“Fine,” Merlin said, digging in his pocket for a coin. “I’ll be heads and you can be tails, because you resemble the tail end of a-”

“Merlin.”

Arthur’s tone had changed, quite suddenly. The snark was gone from his voice, he just sounded tired.

“How did we get here?”

It was such a sincere question it caught Merlin off guard, and he bit back all manner of sarcastic responses.

“I don’t know,” he said at last. “Perhaps it was when you started hating me for having magic.”

Arthur’s face dropped.

“What? I don’t hate you for having magic. In fact, I don’t hate you at all. Why would you think that?”

“Because you literally ditched me the second you found out and you haven’t talked to me since.”

Merlin’s heart was thumping.

“I ditched you?” Arthur said incredulously. “Merlin, you were the one who said you didn’t trust me, that you thought I’d be just like my dad. You rejected me.”

“I wasn’t rejecting you! I was just trying to explain why I never told you. And then it turned out you hated magic-”

“I don’t! I never did. I don’t care at all that you have magic, in fact I think it’s pretty amazing. I only cared about what you said after.”

Arthur’s eyes were bright, as though he was close to tears.

“All I heard was that in ten years you never trusted me enough to tell me. And if you never trusted me, then how could-”

He took a deep, shaky breath.

“How could we be soulmates?”

The world seemed to grow very still around Merlin.

“You think we’re soulmates?” he half-whispered.

“I… I thought we could be,” Arthur said. “Before. Because… I’d fallen in love with you.”

Merlin was stepping closer without even realising it.

“I’d fallen in love with you too,” he said.

Arthur shook his head.

“Without trusting me?” he said, and he sounded so wounded.

“I always trusted you,” Merlin said, words tumbling out. “I swear, Arthur, I was just so scared. I could handle a bad reaction from anyone in the world except you. I was trying to protect myself.”

He sucked in a deep breath.

"Why do you think we're in this mess right now? My magic trusts you almost as much as I do. It bonded us together without me even asking."

He started to reach out his hand and then pulled it back.

“When you said you’d fallen in love with me… was that past tense? Or is it still true?”

Arthur held his gaze.

“I think it will always be true.”

Merlin couldn’t stop the tears in his eyes and he didn’t think he wanted to.

“For me too,” he said, and took a final step into Arthur’s arms.

They held each other for what felt like an age, until they began to shiver in the frigid spring air. They parted, still standing close.

“So,” Arthur said, wiping at his eyes. “Counselling’s a bit overrated, isn’t it?”

“Terribly so,” Merlin said, feeling a smile spread across his face. “Shall we just sack it off?”

“I think that might be best,” Arthur said. “I mean, we’ll be stuck with this silly soulbond… but I suppose I can live with that.”

“I suppose I can too,” Merlin said.

Arthur leaned forward, capturing Merlin’s lips in a soft kiss.

“Rio’s?”

“No chance,” Merlin said. “You’re coming back to mine. Let’s see if we can make the furniture move again.”

“You’re on,” Arthur said, and took Merlin’s hand.

Inside the clinic, a pair of eyes tracked them down the street.

“Dr Aithusa!” Kilgharrah called, not moving from his spot at the window.

The other doctor poked her head into the room.

“What is it?”

“I believe I had three sessions in the pool. You owe me ten pounds.”

“Seriously?” Aithusa said, stepping into the room. “I was sure they’d stick it out for four.”

She handed over the money, a disgruntled look on her face.

“I knew from the moment they walked in,” Kilgharrah said smugly.

Aithusa waved him off as she left.

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll get you one of these days.”

Kilgharrah turned back to the window, just in time to see his latest clients disappearing round the corner.

“Two sides of the same coin,” he chucked softly to himself, and went off in search of some biscuits.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!


End file.
